THE GIBBON GENOME PROJECT was founded in 1980 by a group of inspired biology majors at MIT. Under cover of darkness, these students worked tirelessly for several months to study, breed, and map the genomes of several populations of Lar Gibbons (or Hylobates lar). These students' secret workings went unbeknownst to their university, until, on a chilly November morning, they released all of their groundbreaking data and findings to the world at large. Now, everyone has access to the amazing work which these students did to further genetic research, and all through this simple website. Under the "CALCULATOR" tab, an ingenious fitness and phenotype generator can be found, and within the "DICTIONARY" section, one has access to the entire library of one population of Gibbons, easily manageable through the built-in searchbar. Persons wishing to have access to the data for all of the Gibbons involved in the experiment may make a downpayment of 100 Bitcoin to this address: 1BvBQSEYstWetqTFn5Au4m4GFg7xJFARCE, along with a note explaining your interest and reasons for desiring access. If your request for access is accepted, you will only have to pay the small fee of 10 Bitcoin per month which you desire to have full access to the data. Those wishing to donate to this noble cause may send any donations to the same Bitcoin Address.
Note: Do NOT take anything you just read as true, do NOT send any notes to ANYONE regarding your interest in purchasing access to Gibbon data, and above all, DO NOT SEND ANY BITCOIN TO THE ADDRESS ABOVE! THIS WEBSITE IS A JOKE! (sorta)